HOWTO make easy readable protest signs

trump_hates_puppiesRumor has it that the remix of the Muslim ban is about to drop, and I’m betting a lot of you protesters want to get your march on this week. Here for your protesting enjoyment are three sign designs I’ve personally created and tested in the rain and wind of the San Francisco Bay Area: the Extremely Portable, the Reusable Whiteboard, and the Enormous Billboard.

But remember, the first rule of Protest Club is: You don’t need a sign to protest!!! You can just show up with your own bad self and that makes you a protester. Sometimes protests have more signs than people to hold them, so don’t feel weird about showing up empty-handed!

Caveats:

  • These designs are too expensive for some folks. I personally have more money than time, but you can substitute other materials if that works better for you.
  • San Francisco police don’t seem to consider sign poles as potential weapons but other police departments (notably the NYPD) do. Check your local ordinances and substitute cardboard tubes if necessary, or use the Extremely Portable sign design which doesn’t have a pole.
  • I include links to order stuff on Amazon, but some people are boycotting Amazon because it sells Trump-family related products. You can also buy the materials for MUCH CHEAPER at hardware stores, art supply stores, office supply stores, and big box retailers.

The Extremely Portable

portable_signIt used to be that many protests were planned weeks and months in advance, on a regularly spaced schedule. No more! Thanks to our exciting and unpredictable executive branch, we often have protests organized with just a few hours notice, several times a week. The modern protestor may wish to be equipped with a sign small and sleek enough to carry everywhere, in a purse or a laptop bag. San Francisco Bay Area tip: you can text “RESIST” to 41411 to get text notifications of local protests – you might even see me at one with this sign!

Materials:

Unfold the sunshade. Trace your message using the yardstick and pencil on the silver side, keeping in mind that you need thick letters if you want your sign to be readable from a distance. I suggest a fairly generic message, like “RESIST” or “Trump” with a ban symbol over it.

folded_signOnce you’re happy with your design, fill it in with marker. You’re done! Fold that sign up and keep it next to your laptop or in your purse or in your trunk or in your desk at work – anywhere you might suddenly learn of a protest and want to go join it.

The Reusable Whiteboard

whiteboard_actionMany protests have specific purposes, and my tiny apartment started filling up with out-of-date signs I couldn’t use again. I created this sign so I could have an on-point message at any protest without a lot of time or cost, and improve and update my sign as I got feedback during the protest.

Materials:

About 1/2 of the way from the bottom of the eraserboard, use the yardstick to find the center of the sign. Make a mark with your pencil about 3/8 inch on either side of the center (the distance between the marks should be about 60% of the width of your sign pole). Do this again but about an inch or two from the bottom of the sign. Do this in the same place for each eraserboard.

whiteboard_bottomThis sign has a problem with the wind catching between the eraserboards and ripping them loose, so we will use zip ties to attach the four corners of the marker board to each other. Repeat the marking process you just did but in each of the corners of the eraserboard: make two marks about an inch apart, aligned in a way so that the zip tie will interfere the least with your sign’s contents.

Once you have all your marks made, place the eraserboard over something that it will be okay if a nail comes through the eraserboard (cardboard, scrap wood, etc.). Place the nail on the pencil mark you just made and use the hammer to drive it through quickly. Do this for each of the marks on each eraserboard.

whiteboard_cornerNow take a minute to figure out how your zip ties work – which side has the nubbly bits, which way the tail goes, etc. Sacrifice a zip tie or two if necessary to be sure. Put one eraserboard face down on the floor, put the pole between the holes you just made, and put the other eraserboard on top, face up. Now thread a zip tie through the hole in one board, into the matching hole on the other board, and back through again, with the pole in the middle of the zip tie – but don’t tighten it yet. Do this for the second set of holes too. Now you can tighten the zip ties. Crank them down so the sign doesn’t slip or spin around, but be careful not to rip the eraserboard too much. Do the same for the holes in the 4 corners, though you don’t need to crank them so much – just enough that the edges of each eraserboard touch each other.

You are now done until you have a protest you want to go to. I often wait until I arrive at the protest to create my sign, bringing the markers and a paper towel to erase with (though I often just erase with my glove). I found that the standard dry erase markers are waterproof except for the black color, which washes off with water if you recently applied it. Don’t forget to erase your sign right after the protest – the longer the marker stays on the dry erase board, the harder it is to erase.

The Enormous Billboard

puppies_signThis design is visible from a long way away but heavy and relatively expensive. If you spend a few days workshopping your message, or investing in some quality art, reporters are more likely to talk to you and help you get your message out to a wider audience. Spend some time thinking about who your audience is, what your goal is, and how you can best reach them. (Yes, Trump does hate puppies.)

Materials:

billboard_signUse the yardstick and the pencil to trace out your message on the foamcore posterboard, drawing lightly so it is easy to erase major mistakes (don’t bother erasing all the pencil lines, no one can see them). Make your letters thick and easy to read from 30 feet away – on many signs, the letters are too thin to read. You can test readability by taking a photo of your sign on your phone and holding it at arm’s length: can you read it? Use as few words as possible. Once you are happy with the pencil tracing, fill in with the marker.

Do this for both posterboards – you will get tired of spinning your sign around so people can see your message from the opposite direction. If you put different signs on each side, you can A/B test which messages are the most effective (by counting how many people want to take photos of each side). (Note for painters: use acrylic paint and mix with a lot of non-translucent white such as titanium white.)

Close up of overlapping tape
Close up of overlapping tape
If you expect rain, cover the posterboard with clear packing tape, overlapping the strips by about 1/4 of an inch. Don’t be fussy about it, just tape quickly and avoid gaps between the tape. You don’t necessarily have to tape both sides.

Now you are ready to attach the posterboards to the wooden dowel – the pole. You are about to mark where the zip ties will go, so move them around so they fit between the words on your sign. About 1/3 of the way from the bottom of the posterboard, use the yardstick to find the center of the sign. Make a mark about 3/8 inch on either side of the center (the distance between the marks should be about 60% of the width of your sign pole). Do this again but about an inch or two from the bottom of the sign. Do this in the same place for each posterboard.

Place the posterboard over something that it will be okay if a nail comes through the posterboard (cardboard, scrap wood, etc.). Place the nail on the pencil mark you just made and use the hammer to drive it through quickly. Do this for each of the 4 marks on each posterboard.

Now take a minute to figure out how your zip ties work – which side has the nubbly bits, which way the tail goes, etc. Sacrifice a zip tie or two if necessary to be sure. Put one posterboard face down on the floor, put the pole between the holes you just made, and put the other posterboard on top, face up. Now thread a zip tie through the hole in one board, into the matching hole on the other board, and back through again, with the pole in the middle of the zip tie – but don’t tighten it yet. Do this for the second set of holes too. Now you can tighten the zip ties. Crank them down so the sign doesn’t slip or spin around, but be careful not to rip the posterboard too much.

nonslip_ziptieNow tape the sides of the posterboards together – this prevents the wind from snapping them around and ripping the holes the zip ties go through. All you need is a strip of packing tape around the top, bottom, and middle of the signs. If the sign tends to slide around on the pole too much, add two more zip ties on the pole just underneath the bottom zip tie that threads through the sign. It should stop it from sliding down, but still make it possible to pull the pole out of the sign if necessary.

That’s it! Happy protesting, whether or not you have a sign!

Yes, Trump does hate puppies

Yesterday, I marched in protests with a sign that reads “Trump hates kids and puppies… for real!!!” A lot of people asked me, “Does Trump really hate puppies?” (Funny, no one questioned that he hates kids.) The answer is, yes! Here is why:

  1. Trump is the first U.S. president in 150 years who does not have a pet.
  2. Trump frequently uses “like a dog” as an insult in bizarre and weird ways.
  3. Trump picked two supporters of puppy mills and opponents of the Humane Society to lead part of his transition team and be on a cabinet appointment short list.

Actually, that last one is even weirder than I could fit into a bullet point – the two people are Forrest Lucas and Brian Klippenstein, who are respectively the founder and executive director of the misleadingly named Protect the Harvest non-profit. As Mother Jones puts it, “Protect the Harvest seems to exist mainly to troll the Humane Society of the United States.” And yes, even Protect the Harvest’s own web site shows their support for puppy mills. Oh yeah, Forrest Lucas is… you guessed it, an oil millionaire.

This kind of creepy sadism seems to be a requirement to join Trump’s administration. Hating kids and puppies may seem like a small thing to some people, but it’s just one symptom of Trump’s overall governing philosophy. This sign makes people laugh, stop, and ask a question. They come away with a clearer understand of Trump’s inner hatred and complete lack of empathy. And that’s why I’m marching with this sign.

I hope to see you at the Women’s March in San Francisco today! And at many more protests to come!

Update on signs of fascism in the U.S.

I took a vacation from updating my signs of fascism spreadsheet and now I’m back with a big picture update. Short version: Trump seems to be failing at one of the most basic requirements of fascism, which is winning popular support and suppressing public dissent.

Trump was sworn in yesterday with the lowest approval ratings of a president-elect since we started measuring approval ratings, and his ratings are still falling. Congressional representatives are still acting like they are worried about getting re-elected, and are changing their votes when their constituents pressure them. The puny attendance and visible lack of enthusiasm at Trump’s inauguration, especially as contrasted with the various protests, is another sign of his failure in this important area. Trump is also failing to recruit artists and pop culture in general, another thing fascist movements are usually at least partly successful in doing.

My conclusion: we’re not currently on the path to total fascism in the U.S. If someone competent takes over the Trump administration (Bannon?), that could change quickly, but as far as I can tell, Trump is fundamentally unwilling to give anyone that level of power. An increase in U.S. fascism is still an imminent danger and something we should be alert for, but I’m feeling more hopeful about the resistance.

The biggest problem with my signs of fascism spreadsheet is that the actions column I created to tell myself what to do – pack, leave, flee, etc. – depends so much on a lot of factors not in the spreadsheet. For me, as a disabled white cis woman living in California who has healthcare through the ACA, things are okay right now, but any changes to the ACA will have a major effect on my safety. For others, many people have left the U.S already; others want to leave and can’t. Trans folks, Black people, Muslims, immigrants both documented and undocumented, disabled folks – we’re all more vulnerable to the upcoming administration. And that’s not reflected in the spreadsheet.

I’ve decided to start tracking four things for myself on a scale of 1 to 10: how much I’m resisting, how much I’m collaborating, what my personal danger is, and how hard emigration is for me personally. My fear is that, like the author of Defying Hitler, I’ll gradually collaborate more and more without realizing it.

The future is still scary and fucked up, and many bad things have happened, are happening, and will continue to happen. I am still working with my immigration lawyer to have options to live and work outside the U.S. I still have a go bag packed. I’m still getting copies of all my identity documents. But I’m also actively involved in resistance movements and I’m seeing the results of our work (including behind-the-scenes changes that I can’t talk about in public). People in the U.S. and around the world are connecting and mobilizing and speaking up.

I’ll close with a quote from Rebecca Solnit:

Many people are still trying to figure out what to do; others are doing it. They give me hope, in some portion of humanity, the portion that will resist Trump and defend our ideals. It will be hard. It will be ugly. Our job will be to be embody and protect all of those things most antithetical to authoritarianism, racism, misogyny, kleptocracy, an atmosphere of lies and indifference to science, fact and truth.

In easy times, we grow slack; this will require us each to find our capacity for heroism. Some will, and my hope lies with them. Or us.

One way to resist Trump: become an Ally Skills Workshop teacher

We have a problem in the U.S.: 63 million people who voted for Trump, either despite or because of his record of advocating and practicing racism, sexism, xenophobia, ableism, transphobia, religious hatred, and other cruel and backward beliefs. This election made it clear how important it is for people of good will to learn the skills to stand up for their values, and, when possible, to change the hearts and minds of people who don’t yet understand the implications of supporting someone with these beliefs. You can be a crucial part of changing some of these 63 million minds – keep reading to learn how.

I teach a workshop based on the idea that people who have the most power and influence in society should take on more of the work of fighting systemic discrimination. It’s called the Ally Skills Workshop, and I’ve been teaching it since 2012 along with co-creator Mary Gardiner, Leigh Honeywell, Kendra Albert, Y-Vonne Hutchinson, and many others. In this workshop, I teach people simple, everyday techniques for standing up to systemic oppression as well as making systemic changes to reduce oppression. It teaches people a wide range of responses, from simply saying, “Not cool, dude,” at a party to helping people be heard in a meeting to reforming the way your company interviews new employees. Kendra Albert recently created a version of the workshop specialized for talking to friends and family who support Trump’s policies.

I want the workshop to reach more than a few dozen people a week. That’s why I teach other people to lead the Ally Skills Workshop with a train-the-trainers class. The next train-the-trainers classes are on January 15, 2017 in Oakland, California, and January 22, 2017 through online video. Tickets are priced on a need-based sliding scale, with free tickets available if you email me directly and tell me more about why you’d like to take the training. There’s no fee or charge for teaching the workshop later on – all of the materials are freely reusable and modifiable at no cost.

Teaching the workshop isn’t for everyone. From my experience, here are the three most important qualities for an Ally Skills Workshop teacher to have:

  • A fairly broad understanding of the issues facing a number of different marginalized groups
  • Comfort with speaking extemporaneously in public, including interrupting or confronting people when necessary
  • A strong sense of empathy for a wide range of people (or the ability to turn your empathy up during the workshop)

I often recommend that people teach the Ally Skills Workshop in pairs so that it’s less pressure on one person to be able to answer all the questions or respond appropriately in the moment. (I also teach people how to handle not knowing the answer to a question along with other useful teaching skills.)

If teaching the Ally Skills Workshop isn’t for you, I and many others are willing and able to teach this workshop around the world. Email me at contact@frameshiftconsulting.com to find out more.

Why tech worker resistance is crucial to preventing large-scale human rights abuses in the U.S.

Today I signed the “Never Again” pledge along with hundreds of other tech workers. We pledged to take a variety of concrete actions to stop the U.S. government from using databases to target people for human rights abuses. One of those actions is “We refuse to participate in the creation of databases of identifying information for the United States government to target individuals based on race, religion, or national origin.”

Some people have criticized this pledge as empty because they claim these databases already exist and are available to anyone with the money to buy them. They often back this up with a screenshot from a commercial marketing data broker listing a few hundred thousand phone numbers or emails. They argue that tech workers are just fooling themselves by thinking that their actions as individuals matter now, after these databases have been created.

I believe that the resistance of individual tech workers against the creation and use of databases like this is highly relevant. I’ll briefly summarize my argument, then I’ll tell you my personal experience of working with one of these databases. I will finish up by going into detail about the lessons I learned from that experience.

TL;DR version: Many commercial databases are low quality and barely usable for the purposes of large-scale human rights abuses like mass deportations by race, religion, or national origin. Higher quality databases are expensive to create and update, and tend to be highly protected. Any existing databases require maintenance, support, and tools to keep them up to date and make them usable. All of these things are provided by tech workers. By refusing to do these things, we can materially block, slow down, and frustrate attempts to commit large-scale human rights abuses by the U.S. government.

Now for my personal experience with one of these databases. A few months ago, I volunteered with a political organization. My job was to send text messages to thousands of voters of a particular ethnicity in swing states order to encourage them to vote in the U. S. presidential election. To do this, I used a computer-based tool to send and reply to text messages. The list of phone numbers we sent text messages to was bought from one of the commercial marketing data brokers. The text messages we sent included the purported first name of the person owning the phone number.

The first thing I noticed is that the most common reply we got (after no reply at all) was “I think you have the wrong number.” Many of the people with these phone numbers did not even match the names that we were given to go along with them, and if the people owning them were our target ethnicity and location it was only by accident. I also noticed that a lot of the people we were texting were not of the ethnicity that we were targeting. We had one set of text messages that asked this question explicitly, but people also volunteered this information in their replies (sometimes using abusive Twitter hashtags).

We almost immediately started having problems with the software we were using. Some of the problems were volunteers having difficulty understanding how to use the software, but there were also out-and-out bugs that caused serious problems that couldn’t be fixed by users. The software programmers who wrote the text messaging tools had to make emergency fixes and edit the databases during our volunteer session. We ended up switching software tools entirely at one point. As one of the few tech-savvy volunteers, I spent a lot of time helping other volunteers figure out how to use the software and work around bugs.

This is just one person’s experience working with one database of people by ethnicity, and I’m sure there are better ones out there. But I also have over ten years of experience with data, software, and Murphy’s Law. Here are my beliefs about the role of tech workers in using existing databases of people by race, religion, or national origin:

  1. Many commercial databases are incomplete and error-riddled. These databases leave out a lot of people who should be in them, and include a lot of people who shouldn’t. This is fine if you are sending a mass marketing email, or targeting an Facebook ad. But if you want to send thugs to the doors of every person in that group (and not to people who aren’t in that group), you’ll need to put in a lot of work. Correcting these errors is extremely expensive because it takes human work and intelligence. (For example, the U. S. Census employs hundreds of thousands of temporary workers to create its gargantuan dataset.) It will require the cooperation of many individuals to make these databases usable for the purpose of deportation or other violations of human rights. We can refuse to do that.
  2. Databases of personally identifiable information need to be updated frequently. I’ve moved over a dozen times in my life. The DMV’s record for my address has been wrong more years than it’s been right. Gamergate can’t even get my address and phone number correct when I post it on my company web site. Updating these databases to reflect moves, changes in locations, new phone numbers, changes of religion, marriages, births, deaths, etc. will take ongoing support – from tech workers. We can refuse to do that.
  3. Higher quality databases tend to already have systems in place to make them harder to abuse. For example, the personally identifiable information in the U.S. Census data is protected by federal laws and every person who has access to it has sworn for life to protect the confidentiality of that data. Will that prevent it from being misused? Ha ha, no – but it outlines the importance of individuals refusing to be complicit in human rights abuses. A limited number of people can turn this data over for use by a human rights abusing regime, and they have already thought deeply about their personal responsibility in this situation. They can refuse to do that, and we can stand in solidarity with them.
  4. Databases of millions of people require tech support to use. Even if we had access to a magical database that updated itself with the name, location, ethnicity, religion, and immigration status of every human in the U.S., we would still need tech workers to build and maintain and run the tools to use that data. We would need tech support to help people use the tools. We would need technical writers to document the tools. We can refuse to do that.

I’m not one of the people who seriously believes that the cost of deporting millions of people will deter the Trump administration from doing it (one easy way to reduce costs: don’t deport people humanely). But history tells us that, whether you do it humanely or not, this kind of large-scale human rights abuse requires huge numbers of people working together with the full knowledge that they are committing human rights abuses. Tech workers are a crucial part of this system, and if enough of them refuse to do that work, we can have an impact on history.

In the end though, I believe the indirect effects of this pledge may be even more powerful than the direct effects. Tech workers are notoriously difficult to organize, so when we do act in concert, it’s a newsworthy event. In my experience, tech company executives will pay close attention to any cause powerful enough to get tech workers to pledge solidarity with each other and with the most vulnerable in society.

Radical self-care for activists in the time of Trump

[Content notes: disordered eating, exercise]

Like many of you, I’m struggling to take care of myself in the aftermath of the 2016 U.S. election. My friends and I are having stomach pain, trouble sleeping, difficulty staying focused on work, and many more signs of fear and stress. To add to it, as activists many of us feel a sense of urgency and obligation to act now, to push ourselves to our limits in an attempt to avert the coming disaster. I find myself thinking irrational thoughts, like “Maybe I should start sleeping less so I can write more. Do I really need to keep doing my physical therapy? Why bother keeping tax records when I’m worried about mass deportations?” Then my rational mind points out that it’s hard to write if I’m tired, or in pain, or having my tax returns audited.

This post is a collection of tips and strategies for radical self-care in the time of Trump. It’s radical self-care because taking care of yourself is crucial to being able to resist fascism and injustice. But it’s also radical because the very act of self-care is a rejection of cruelty, injustice, and oppression. We are in the process of creating a world in which we recognize every individual’s right to love and care and respect; we must treat ourselves the way we want others to be treated if we are true to our beliefs.

This post starts out with general considerations and strategy, then gets into specific concrete recommendations you can do today. Some of the advice might accidentally trigger disordered thinking around food; we tried to write it in ways that avoid that, but if this is a concern for you, that section is last in this post and is prefaced by a separate trigger warning. If after you finish this post you’re looking for more self-care tips, try this interactive self-care guide. Thank you to the many people who contributed to this post, David Bacome, Kara Sowles, Molly Wilson, and several anonymous contributors.

General strategy and considerations

Stressful times can bring back old fractures – things like old mental habits you thought you fixed a long time ago, or disordered eating patterns you think you have recovered from. If you have these fractures, it helps to be vigilant for the signs of them coming back, and to take those signs seriously when they happen. Don’t be too hard on yourself for relapsing to old ways under stress, especially if excessive self-criticism is part of the old mental habits you are trying to get out of. The weird thing is that stress from external sources (such as an unjust and terrifying political climate) can be a motivation to get better and to work hard on your self-care. If it helps motivate you, you can tell yourself you need to take good care of yourself so that you can help others. (It happens to be true, too!)

Many of us feel a tension between self-care and activism. Many forms of activism are costly and difficult for some people (e.g., joining in-person protests that could result in violence, or simply making phone calls when you have social anxiety). Situations of fear and urgency about societal-scale problems may activate a pattern of martyr-type thinking that goes something like this: “If I make this huge self-sacrifice and harm myself deeply, the universe will notice and be fair and reward me by fixing the bad thing.” Unfortunately, this rarely works out in the way we hope, and the end result is too often only self-harm and a reduced ability to work for good in the future.

One way out of this trap is to make a conscious search for the kind of activism that works best for you. Here are some starting ideas: engaging political representatives, joining political parties, participating in street protests, joining or forming local organisations, donating money, amplifying news, correcting misinformation, writing, educating family and friends, beginning or continuing an activist career, reaching out to groups targeted by hate, connecting folks in need with resources (like lawyers or funds for documents or hotlines), and providing background support to other people doing these things.

Try a few different things and pay attention to which forms of activism you believe are effective, and which of the possibly effective things energise and nourish you, as those will be sustainable. Don’t worry about who will do the things that you don’t like; for example, if you are terrified of public speaking, remember that more people want to speak in front of a huge audience than there are audiences who want to listen to them. Or if crowds make you anxious and fearful, don’t join the street protest – plenty of other people feel comforted and happy in a crowd.

In a tough time or an emergency, you may not limit yourself only to sustainable forms of actvism, but you can at least pay attention to what they are for the longer term. Try to avoid criticizing others for choosing different forms of activism, unless the actions they are taking are actively harmful to the overall cause (such as the safety pin movement) or if they are seriously diverting energy and resources away from crucial goals. Diversity of tactics – both in its scholarly sense and in the general sense of many people doing many different things – is key to any successful social movement.

One of the major challenges to self-care is when you are caring for others who are dependent on you: children, or disabled family members, or other folks who depend on you. Carers need to take care of themselves if they want to continue caring for others over the long term, but often the needs of those we are caring for don’t change during times of stress for the carer.

When time and energy is tight, as in a time of crisis, it helps to think explicitly about what non-self care things you can stop doing, and where you can get more help or resources with caring for others. Society has trained us to go straight to self-sacrifice as a solution, especially for carers. Instead, explore a broader array of solutions: are there things you can stop doing without harming yourself? Maybe now is the time to call in the favors you’ve been saving up for when you need them. Are there creative ways to pool time and energy and resources? Fear is the enemy of creativity, and creativity is key to problem-solving. Don’t let your fear lock you into a sub-optimal solution.

Physical health

If you suspect you might have something physically wrong and untreated that’s making you feel bad, take this time of great stress as extra motivation to go to a doctor and work with them on it. Small health annoyances can become big life problems under conditions of stress, so caring for your health should become more of a priority, rather than less. Pay attention to what your body is telling you and don’t ignore important signs because you’re too worried about world events.

Some health problems are not obvious. For example, it’s not uncommon for people to be low in vitamin D without knowing it, which can contribute to feelings of inertia and decision paralysis. If you might be low in vitamin D, B12, iron, or other vitamins and minerals, you can ask a medical professional for a blood test to check. Deficiencies can contribute to mental health difficulties, and they can be relatively simple to improve with food and supplements. (Note: vitamin D, like many other supplements, can be harmful to people with certain rare medical conditions – be thoughtful, do your research, and talk to a medical professional before trying any medical advice.)

For many people, regular physical activity is crucial to health and happiness – and it’s even more important during times of stress. Physical activity can be a good way to reconnect with your body, especially if stress weakens that connection for you. The right activity can also help you reduce stress and anxiety getting in the way of caring for yourself and taking action. Whatever your preferred physical activity is – walking, rock-climbing, deep breathing – keep making it a priority. Some ways you can do this is are: schedule a specific time each day for it, combine it with some other activity (grocery shopping, listening to podcasts, spending time with your family), make plans to do your activity with a friend, or make some kind of commitment (like paying for a nonrefundable class). When your body feels good, it’s easier to make good decisions, get important work done, and care for others.

If you use Twitter, following https://twitter.com/tinycarebot is a good way to get small reminders to check in with and care for your body throughout the day (or for a funny approach, try https://twitter.com/hydratebot). Tons of apps are out there to remind you to stand up, take deep breaths, drink water, stretch, or whatever works for you.

For many people, some kind of physical self-care that resembles grooming is really helpful. This might look like getting a massage, taking a long bath, getting a pedicure, doing your makeup, shaving or clipping a beard, going to the sauna, showering more often than usual, using pretty-smelling bath products, applying lotion, or anything else in that realm. Try not to let yourself feel guilty for doing these things – if they make you feel good and they don’t take an enormous amount of time and energy, it’s worth it. Small acts of self-care can often have outsize returns.

Mental health

One of my irrational thoughts was “I should stop seeing my therapist so often, my mental health isn’t a high priority any more.” This is like saying, “I’m going on a month-long road trip driving through snow and mountains and sand, I should skip oil changes and ignore any engine warning lights during that trip.” Hopefully this sounds ridiculous!

If you are already seeing a therapist or mental health counselor of some kind, keep going to them. Tell them what you are feeling and ask for help with coping with stress and fear and anxiety. If you used to go to a therapist but stopped, consider restarting therapy with them. If you’ve been meaning to start therapy but never got around to it, now is a fantastic time to start. If your therapist isn’t helping, consider finding a new therapist. Here are some tips on finding therapists, figuring out how to afford therapy, and managing your relationship with your therapist.

You might also try a cognitive behavioral therapy app (like Moodnotes), an anxiety management app (like SAM), or a meditation app (like Headspace or Insight Timer).

Art is an important way of making sense of the incomprehensible, and of communicating it with others. If you have a creative practice of any kind, you may be surprised by the new meaning and value that it has for you in an uncertain and complicated world; creativity has a way of being both escape and engagement at the same time. You might try revisiting arts you left behind, or assigning yourself a creative routine. That said, don’t punish yourself if you don’t feel like doing anything creative right now.

One simple but highly recommended method is to stop and be aware of what is happening right now, right here, in this exact moment. Don’t think about the future, or things that aren’t right there, just use your senses to fully perceive what is around you for 10 seconds, or 30 seconds, or longer if you are practiced at it. You should feel calmer and more relaxed at the end of this exercise; if not, don’t do it.

Keeping lists of things to do or that you have done may be helpful to ground yourself in reality instead of anxiety. For example, you might start keeping a personal list of what you’ve done to fight oppression. The feeling of “we’re not doing enough” probably won’t go away as long as the problem is still there, but keeping a list, and the act of updating it with each action, can help some people remember they’re taking what concrete steps they can – and can help distract from the feeling of overwhelming powerlessness. If keeping lists makes you stressed and anxious, don’t do it.

Social self-care

Different people react to stress in different ways. Sometimes we reach out to friends and loved ones and strengthen our support system. Sometimes we isolate ourselves and withdraw from our support system. Often isolating ourselves seems like the solution when really it just makes the problem worse. People mistakenly isolate themselves when they are in need for many reasons. One is the idea that you are the source of the problem, and you are hurting other people by bringing the problem to them. Another reason is overemphasis on self-reliance and independence, leading to the idea that asking for help or support is shameful and weak. Whatever the reason, times of stress are often a good time to reach out to your friends and loved ones more, not less.

In this case, many of your friends and loved ones are under stress as well and would welcome hearing from you. Pick which of these things you are most comfortable doing and do one or two per day: texting a friend, emailing a friend, calling a friend, inviting a friend to coffee, inviting a friend to your house, organizing a dinner with friends, organizing a party, offering to help someone else organize a meetup, or saying yes to an invitation you receive.

One thing that can help reduce stress around being around other people is to set some kind of structure around what you talk about or for how long. For example, you can suggest taking a walk for one hour and and agree to talk about politics only during the last 15 minutes. Or you can have a dinner and say that no one can argue about the history of fascism, only share information about what actions they are taking now.

Situational awareness

While for many people at this time it is crucial to keep up with the news for safety reasons, this doesn’t have to mean reading the news at all time. For some, self-care means choosing to catch up on news and politics only during certain times – say, for an hour a day. This can enable you to prepare yourself before you learn about the news, and take care of yourself afterwards. For example, if you use Twitter, you might filter news about the election out of your Twitter stream for most of the day, and then turn that filter off during the set time in which you catch up on that topic. It’s not a perfect system, but it can enable you to skim past that crucial news article when you’re not in the right place for it — knowing you’ll be returning for it the next day. Or you could use a bookmarking service like Pinboard to collect links about upsetting topics to read during the 20 minutes you catch up on the news. Google Alerts are a good way to get a once a day roundup of news stories with certain keywords emailed to you.

You can also ask a trusted person to keep an eye on the news for you. You might ask them to tell you if anything happens that you need to know about – any major events, or anything that’s directly relevant to your safety.

Food stuff

[TRIGGER WARNING: Food-related advice below]

If you are reacting to stress by losing your appetite, it’s a good idea not to skip meals entirely. You don’t have to eat as much as you usually do – set some kind of achievable goal (like “half this bagel” or “one apple”) and let yourself stop after that. Look for tasty, nutrient dense foods that are easy to eat and make your stomach feel calm – this might look like smoothies, nuts or nut butters, hard-boiled eggs, bacon, chocolate, cheese, coconut, avocados, dried fruit, broth, etc. Keep easy to eat, easy to prepare foods around and available so you can take advantage of the times when you are hungry.

If you’ve internalized a lot of training (including training yourself) to only eat the “right” healthy foods, this can be unhelpful at times when you’ve lost your appetite and are low on calories (and possibly low on blood sugar). Eating a bit of anything that seems appealing to you (even if you ordinarily consider it not your preferred food to eat frequently or over the long-term) can help you bootstrap yourself back to your preferred eating style. This might not work for you depending on your eating habits, but in general this is a good time to be kind and forgiving of yourself.

If grocery shopping is overwhelming, consider a grocery delivery option. Consider stocking your freezer with appealing, easily-microwaved frozen foods, for times when it’s important to eat, but you don’t want to cook, order or shop. For example, supermarkets carry frozen vegetables that you can steam, in the bag, in the microwave. Trader Joe’s, if there’s one near you, is a haven of frozen, microwavable treats. If it helps, you can stock your freezer like you’re setting in for a long winter – so you know you’ll always have something to eat on hand.

Hopefully this gives you some more ideas for how to practice self-care during the months and years ahead. We’re in this for the long-term – learning to take care of yourself now will pay back today and for years to come.

A post-election guide to changing hearts and minds

I just published a guide to changing the hearts and minds of lukewarm Trump supporters over at the amazing Captain Awkward advice blog. I took what I learned from teaching the Ally Skills Workshop and turned it into a step-by-step process for changing people’s minds effectively: identifying where you have the most influence, choosing who to spend time, finding shared values, and using compassion and vulnerability on your part to help the listener develop their compassion towards those who need it most. Here’s the introduction:

Many of us are grappling with how to use our skills and influence to resist the upcoming Trump administration and the hatred and violence that it inspires. As Captain Awkward readers, we’ve been practicing setting boundaries, standing up for our values, and making it awkward for the right person. We are uniquely prepared for a crucial part of the next few months or years: changing the minds of people who support the Trump administration, and standing up to the abusers they are empowering. This post teaches scripts and techniques to do these two tasks, along with the theory behind them. It’s for people living in the U.S., but it may be useful to people living elsewhere as well.

And now I will give you some strange advice: Read the comments on that post! Captain Awkward is a case study (along with Metafilter) in how positive and useful a comments section can be if you have a strong code of conduct and enforce it. Enjoy the unfamiliar sensation of reading the comments and enjoying them!

If you have read my last two blog posts, you know I’m not hopeful for the future of human rights in the United States (and around the world). I don’t believe that changing the minds of wavering Trump supporters will be anything like enough to prevent fascism and kleptocracy. However, I think any other effort will fail unless we drastically lower the percentage of U.S. voters who support Trump. That’s why I licensed that guide CC BY-SA – please feel free to copy, modify, and redistribute it without charge as long as you credit the authors.

If you like what you see on Captain Awkward, please consider joining me and becoming a monthly donor (or chipping in a few bucks now). Their work is crucial to the task we have before us.