One way to resist Trump: become an Ally Skills Workshop teacher

We have a problem in the U.S.: 63 million people who voted for Trump, either despite or because of his record of advocating and practicing racism, sexism, xenophobia, ableism, transphobia, religious hatred, and other cruel and backward beliefs. This election made it clear how important it is for people of good will to learn the skills to stand up for their values, and, when possible, to change the hearts and minds of people who don’t yet understand the implications of supporting someone with these beliefs. You can be a crucial part of changing some of these 63 million minds – keep reading to learn how.

I teach a workshop based on the idea that people who have the most power and influence in society should take on more of the work of fighting systemic discrimination. It’s called the Ally Skills Workshop, and I’ve been teaching it since 2012 along with co-creator Mary Gardiner, Leigh Honeywell, Kendra Albert, Y-Vonne Hutchinson, and many others. In this workshop, I teach people simple, everyday techniques for standing up to systemic oppression as well as making systemic changes to reduce oppression. It teaches people a wide range of responses, from simply saying, “Not cool, dude,” at a party to helping people be heard in a meeting to reforming the way your company interviews new employees. Kendra Albert recently created a version of the workshop specialized for talking to friends and family who support Trump’s policies.

I want the workshop to reach more than a few dozen people a week. That’s why I teach other people to lead the Ally Skills Workshop with a train-the-trainers class. The next train-the-trainers classes are on January 15, 2017 in Oakland, California, and January 22, 2017 through online video. Tickets are priced on a need-based sliding scale, with free tickets available if you email me directly and tell me more about why you’d like to take the training. There’s no fee or charge for teaching the workshop later on – all of the materials are freely reusable and modifiable at no cost.

Teaching the workshop isn’t for everyone. From my experience, here are the three most important qualities for an Ally Skills Workshop teacher to have:

  • A fairly broad understanding of the issues facing a number of different marginalized groups
  • Comfort with speaking extemporaneously in public, including interrupting or confronting people when necessary
  • A strong sense of empathy for a wide range of people (or the ability to turn your empathy up during the workshop)

I often recommend that people teach the Ally Skills Workshop in pairs so that it’s less pressure on one person to be able to answer all the questions or respond appropriately in the moment. (I also teach people how to handle not knowing the answer to a question along with other useful teaching skills.)

If teaching the Ally Skills Workshop isn’t for you, I and many others are willing and able to teach this workshop around the world. Email me at to find out more.

A post-election guide to changing hearts and minds

I just published a guide to changing the hearts and minds of lukewarm Trump supporters over at the amazing Captain Awkward advice blog. I took what I learned from teaching the Ally Skills Workshop and turned it into a step-by-step process for changing people’s minds effectively: identifying where you have the most influence, choosing who to spend time, finding shared values, and using compassion and vulnerability on your part to help the listener develop their compassion towards those who need it most. Here’s the introduction:

Many of us are grappling with how to use our skills and influence to resist the upcoming Trump administration and the hatred and violence that it inspires. As Captain Awkward readers, we’ve been practicing setting boundaries, standing up for our values, and making it awkward for the right person. We are uniquely prepared for a crucial part of the next few months or years: changing the minds of people who support the Trump administration, and standing up to the abusers they are empowering. This post teaches scripts and techniques to do these two tasks, along with the theory behind them. It’s for people living in the U.S., but it may be useful to people living elsewhere as well.

And now I will give you some strange advice: Read the comments on that post! Captain Awkward is a case study (along with Metafilter) in how positive and useful a comments section can be if you have a strong code of conduct and enforce it. Enjoy the unfamiliar sensation of reading the comments and enjoying them!

If you have read my last two blog posts, you know I’m not hopeful for the future of human rights in the United States (and around the world). I don’t believe that changing the minds of wavering Trump supporters will be anything like enough to prevent fascism and kleptocracy. However, I think any other effort will fail unless we drastically lower the percentage of U.S. voters who support Trump. That’s why I licensed that guide CC BY-SA – please feel free to copy, modify, and redistribute it without charge as long as you credit the authors.

If you like what you see on Captain Awkward, please consider joining me and becoming a monthly donor (or chipping in a few bucks now). Their work is crucial to the task we have before us.