Why you shouldn’t trust people who support sexual predators

[CW: mention of child sexual abuse] Should you trust people who support sexual predators? My answer is no. Here’s why: Anyone who is ethically flexible enough to justify knowingly supporting a sexual predator is ethically flexible enough to justify harming the people who trust and support them. This week’s news provides a useful case study.Continue reading “Why you shouldn’t trust people who support sexual predators”

Goth fashion tips for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome

My ideal style could perhaps be best described as “goth chic”—a lot of structured black somewhere on the border between couture and business casual—but because I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, I more often end up wearing “sport goth”: a lot of stretchy black layers in washable fabrics with flat shoes. With great effort, I’ve nudged myContinue reading “Goth fashion tips for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome”

Signs that you might be an advice columnist

I started a new advice column! It is called Dear Ally Skills Teacher (“Dear Ally” for short), where I answer questions about how to support people with less power and privilege. If you are the person who is always answering questions about diversity and inclusion at work, and you’re tired and overworked and not gettingContinue reading “Signs that you might be an advice columnist”

Choosing which consulting services to offer

Many consultants (including me) make a similar mistake: we offer too many services, in too many areas, with too many options. After running one mediocre consulting business, and one successful consulting business, I’ve learned to focus on services that: Require hard-to-find expertise Deliver far more value to the client than they cost me to provideContinue reading “Choosing which consulting services to offer”

Repost: How calls for “civility” are harming tech companies

This article originally appeared on Project Include’s blog on July 9, 2018 and is republished here by permission. As a 20-year veteran of the tech industry, I’m familiar with calls for “civility” in discourse — and the harm they often do to diversity and inclusion. Just last week, game developer Jessica Price, prompted by a man explainingContinue reading “Repost: How calls for “civility” are harming tech companies”

What I learned writing my first non-fiction book

I am so excited to announce that I just released my first book, “How to Respond to Code of Conduct Reports.” You can download it for free from my business website. The book is based on a short guide by Mary Gardiner, and edited by Annalee Flower Horne. Responding to code of conduct reports isContinue reading “What I learned writing my first non-fiction book”

Finding food allergies and sensitivities

A little over five years ago, I stopped eating one food. About a month later, I suddenly realized that, for the first time in nearly seven years, I did not want to die. My history of untreatable suicidal depression, insomnia, and anxiety became just that: history. At the same time, a bunch of other littleContinue reading “Finding food allergies and sensitivities”

Cross-post: Alcohol and Inclusivity: Planning Tech Events with Non-Alcoholic Options

This article is by Kara Sowles, republished with permission. It originally appeared on Model View Culture in 2014. In the tech industry, alcohol is currency. It’s used to grow event attendance, to bribe participants, to reward employees and community members. Informal interviews are conducted in bars, to see if potential employees are likable in a socialContinue reading “Cross-post: Alcohol and Inclusivity: Planning Tech Events with Non-Alcoholic Options”